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Your plant is dead.


Don’t fool yourself. Don’t try watering it. And don’t you dare go out and buy another succulent. Face it: you can’t take care of plants. No one can.

But everyone should look like they can—at least at a “B” level. No one deserves the leering eye of the gardening leisure class, judging your substandard horticulture, your humiliating lack of southern exposure.

That’s what drives us at Slightly Browning Fake Plants. We aspire to bring you the highest-quality replicas of acceptable-quality plants. Because everyone's a little hurt; everyone's a little bent. Everyone is Slightly Browning.

And everyone deserves slightly better.
 
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They all thought it was a joke.

Good. It’s a slightly serious fake plant business, and we’re the very serious real jokers running it.

 
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Kurt

Kurt will stop at nothing to make Slightly Browning Fake Plants. People want them? Great. People don’t want them? It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters to him anymore except making lots and lots of slightly browning fake plants. He also writes things that will definitely be produced one of these days.

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Brian

Brian had everything: a big-shot job, a loving girlfriend—everything. Then he left it all behind to start a company. Then he left all that behind to start this. Now, his investors are furious, but he doesn’t let it get to him. They’ll be thanking him when their bank accounts are filled with Slightly Browning green. He also runs a side, side venture called Yada.

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Gerhardt

Gerhardt could take it or leave it; that’s as far as he’s concerned. Slightly Browning Fake Plants? Seems as good an idea as any. Who is he to judge? Gerhardt is a moral relativist. That that makes him perfect for Slightly Browning Fake Plants, which is relatively moral. He also directs things, including this thing… sort of.

 
 
 
 

Excited Yet?

Give us a kick start!

We'll actually make them if you do.

 
 
 
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Real plants are on the line.

 

Contact us:

e: sbfp.com@gmail.com

t: (678) 524-8475

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